Goal 47 Bears Fruit

[stapsdoes101things]

You may remember that before Christmas I entered my work's 'seasonal silliness competition'.

My answers are below.

My winning answers.

For yes! I am shortly to become the proud owner of £40 in vouchers. Or possibly £20 - I was joint winner with someone in another region. But anyway - I won!

1. As patron saint of sailors, the Greek bishop Saint Nicholas (Santa Claus) might be in the Panhellenic Sailors’ Union or, like his elves (see below) he might be a member of the Finnish Post and Logistics Union. Since he is also patron saint of the falsely accused, among other things, he would almost certainly be a rep.

2. Assuming legend is true and Santa Claus is based in Lapland, and given that 80% of Finland’s workforce is unionised, the elves would probably be in the Finnish Post and Logistics Union, the Wood and Allied Workers’ Union, the Metalworkers’ Union, the Paperworkers’ Union, the Finnish Electrical Workers’ Union or the Finnish Foodstuff Workers’ Union, according to their role in the grotto. All of these fall under the SAK, the Central Association of Finnish Trade Unions.

3. The Christmas fairy gets all the blame when things go wrong, and it’s very rarely her fault. Turkey not defrosted? Blame the Christmas fairy. No mince pies for Santa? Blame the Christmas fairy. Washing up? Oh, the fairy will do it. Plus she’ll clear up the wrapping paper, keep the cat out of the kitchen, and make sure the chimney is clear. Then when you consider that she has to spend twenty-four hours a day standing on a spiky tree-top, close to hot lights, and with a long way to fall to the floor, you have to hope she’s got a decent union.

4. While the herald angels are employed by the Almighty and should, one hopes, have nothing to complain about, history records certain of the heavenly host being less than happy with their working conditions and seeking alternative employment as a result. I therefore think it plausible that the angelic choirs may be unionised. They would of course be members of the Musicians’ Union.


It would have been silly to make this goal 'win five competitions'. After all, the whole point of this goal was to introduce an element of chance. But I'm rather pleased that this first one has come up trumps.


In related news, I also entered the competition shown in the photograph, more in hope than expectation - someone had left their Evening Standard on the train, and I thought why the hell not.

I'm also some way towards entering a competition I saw advertised in Sainsbury's: produce a piece of art for the local RSPCA branch's Christmas card. I got a half-decent photo of my ma's cat Tuppence up to her neck in wrapping paper, and have today collected a print. I'll be sending that off in the next few days.

Effectively, I'm half-way towards calling this goal complete. It's a good feeling.